hate it. because it's another day
where i had to get questioned by some
stranger-like relatives.
especially paternal family.
used to get excited when cny is drawing. nah, not now. never again. guess i've grown; to be more anti-social. to go against crowds, traditions and habits. it's just a normal day for me. only that i had to smile more, to be more polite and answer more questions.
typical questions like,
"how old are you?"
"studying what course?"
"which year?"
"when graduate?"
"next time want to work as what?"
a most important question that they never miss.
"do you have bf?"
though they did not ask me directly, but they never fail to ask my mum. think next time i should just say, oh, i'm married. and that will freak them off. hahas.
i know they are concerned. but why should they ask the same things almost everytime we met. somemore, it's those things that they don't bother to remember. a waste of time and it only shows our distance, trying to kill time by asking the repeated question.
it's alright to ask once or twice but i dislike to be kept probed. it's my own business and i'll appreciate if they just leave me alone. it's all because of my dad and granny, if not i wouldn't even care about the celebration..
nvm. shall just put up with it.
will try to be good and polite.
it seemed absurd but this year, i feel the loneliness. especially during festivals. because it brings out my supressed feelings. though there will be many people flooding around me, it just wouldn't make my inner warm. i can't feel it. i can't sense it.
i need a shoulder, a support. and again, i hoped someone can take over the place you had in me..
whenever i have a problem, i'll turn to you.
but right now, i will only bury them in.
to allow it to self-diminish.
because there's simply nothing i can do..
haas.
guess no one can help me in lightening this misery.
feels terrible to do things against my will.
someone who is lost.. Yours
[ @ 7:36:00 PM | 0 comments ]