shit. i'm late today. daddy's going to nag at me again. i had my twelve hours sleep; fatigue and weather are the cause. half of my day was gone and those continuous messages simply can't wake me. i slept like dead.
was having those kinky dreams these few days. it must be due to excessive sleep. it must be! i think too much. should get something to distract myself. boo! oh yeah, i gave astro a miss today but accompanied von to have her dinner at lot one.
during her dinner, was thinking about something else. it occupied my mind and had a hard time digesting it. before i know, i finished a packet of fries. a large one. damn. i feel fat. before returning home, fate allowed me meet up with snow. was glad that i saw her. i feel better. but how good if i can see the other one too.. since i was in cck.
was scolded by dad before i went out. feel lousy. but i couldn't back out on my words. i rather you scold me instead. things are not that simple afterall..
you think i'm a bum who only stays at home and rot, being a nuisance right now. you just said that out. but i'm not refusing to work. i just wanted a rest for now. there's so much which is left unsaid..
your words were sharp. i know i shouldn't be out always but i feel the need to. i only think too much when i'm cooped at home. thought of watching the show, but i know you didn't like that. so i kept quiet and let you have the tv..
i'm not blaming you for stopping me or scolding me. but i really feel hurt. that day, i only forget to wash my cup but after that i remembered. i didn't know you'll use that on me.
didn't want to say much because you are my dad. what if i quarrelled and win? i wouldn't feel good either. i was in the wrong and i knew it. i should cater to your mood and avoid making you angry. i'm sorry for wanting you to feed a bum like me. you made me feel like a loser.
i will get my ass out and find a job. any will do. even if i had to work in a pub, i would. just to be out and stop slacking at home.
your words prinked me right deep in.
you should have listened.. you should have.
mascara had smudged;
how it falls in dark.
it's been long,
since my eyes are red.
i have learned to be quiet,
though my inner world is ripping me apart. Yours
[ @ 12:31:00 AM | 0 comments ]