sometimes, i felt that i'm hard to please. i was given the freedom and i'm complaining that i had too much. able to go out and club with any friends. to me, clubbing is a no-no for the once-so-obedient xinyi. i never ever think that i would ever step into a pub so fast, much less a club. and now, i'm the girl that visits one whenever there's an invitation or rather, as and when i wish to go.
yeah, a clubber you may name it.
i didn't mean that people who club are baddies but more or less, not that simple-minded. but i'm a simple girl yet with a complex heart. i couldn't find strive a balance however much i wanted to be.
to him. my mister gonggong
there's too much i wanted to say, so much i wanted to do. it's all because of you who once gave me those feelings, be it knowingly or not. there's no way you would ever get to know this and neither i wanted you to know.
it's not anyone's fault. the night with the wrong ambience and the wrong touch. everything is a big wrong. it happened to be that it's just me and you, the one and only night that makes me step into the wrong dimension of love. it makes me wanting more and like i say, my happiness is always short-lived.
we never have the fate to be together, you know how i feel and also made your feelings known to me. i sensed that's the true feel that you have given me. afterall, you did not reciprocate to all. i'm glad that for once, i have owned you even if it's only a short time. i will never forget the night that you once given me. it will be my most glamourous memory.
i've been missing out many things. things that are nicer, better or even the one for me. and towards us, i believe you enjoyed me being good to you too. for whom a girl will always be there for you 24/7, waiting for your call or date at anytime. i know you promised to do the same but the promise you've given me is not the type i wanted.
you always know that i wanted more.. more than a friend. even if i'm not the only love you've got, i won't mind. people must be laughing at me for being so silly. does he worth giving in so much? i can proudly to say, YES. he is worth me giving so much. because i really believed that he is the miracle i could ever received.
he was my dearest of all, my everything. for the first time i really fall hard for a guy. i wanted so much to leave this school, leave this country.. to a place that i really belong. if only i can.. he is not the most handsome, the most charming but he has this magnetic ability to attract me.
maybe that's what people call love.
now, i've come to a conclusion. for this ever precious six months relationship which i hold on to so dearly, i'm going to put a stop to it, no more undesired love and resuming the status of our friendship. maybe i'm more shallow, i may no longer be that caring and sweet towards you.
friendship love will still be there. i decided to leave all.. that undying love i once had, shall be brought away forever, hidden at the deepest part of my heart.
perhaps, this time i've made a wise decision........
my last message to end my dearest love
my first three words,
i love you ever.
yours sincerely,
me.
it will be the history of me and you. Yours
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